giving up on good: my phone.

I'm linking up with this lovely blog today to talk about one of the ways I'm giving up on something good to make room for other good things.  As we all know, too much good gets to be a bad thing.


I'm giving up on my cell phone.  Not entirely- I still use it often.  I still text and I still call people and sometimes I will even answer a call.  But for me, texting someone right back and answering every call takes up way too much of my time with my sweet boy during the day and my sweet husband in the evenings.  I LOVE talking to people and staying connected with them.  I WISH I was someone who you could easily get in touch with.  I WANT people to think "Oh, Lauren's so good at getting back to me.  She always answers my calls."  But the truth is, that stresses me out just thinking about it.  [No, I don't get that many calls or texts during the day, by the way.  This makes me sound like I have tons of people talking to me.  I don't.  I'm just not good at responding whether it's one person or 3.]

I often don't even keep my cell phone on me.  I'll find it hours later and find that I've missed 3 calls from my husband.  This drives him crazy.  Or I'll wake up in the morning with that panicked feeling because I forgot to text someone back the day before.  It's happened often, and I hate that feeling.  So I'm giving myself permission to be OK with being bad at communicating.  I want to spend my days focused on my babe, not attached to my phone.  My one year old picks up our phones and holds them to his ear like he's talking on them.  If that's not a wake up call, I don't know what is. 

image from: The Tiny Twig 

 


*Please still text me and call me.  I will answer you-- maybe not right away but at some point-- I promise! 

what kind of diet is this?

I watch the Today show almost every day; it's part of how we start our day around here.  It's on in the background while we change diapers and pj's, eat breakfast, and pick up Cheerios from all over the room.  Yesterday I was shocked when I heard a story come on while I was unloading the dishwasher.  I quickly came into the living room because I didn't want to miss any of the story.  It is crazy.  Period.  

A new diet that is rising in popularity with oddly enough, brides-to-be, is a tube feeding diet.  These women have a nasogastric tube [meaning it goes in through the nose, down the throat and into the stomach] inserted and are given a formula through the tube for 10 days.  The formula is made up of protein and fat mixed with water and contains no carbohydrates.  The women get 800 calories a day from the formula and carry around the tube feeding pump all the time for the 10 days.  This costs $1500 for the ten day diet, and the average weight loss is 20 pounds.  After the diet is over it is up to the women to keep the weight off. 


You see, I've worked in hospitals as a Clinical Dietitian.  I was a Dietetic Intern in four different hospitals, so I've seen plenty of patients on tube feeds.  It's generally not an elected thing.  No one, I can guarantee you, no one who has a tube feed has ever said, "yeah, I walked into the hospital hoping they'd stick a tube down my throat and pump a gross combination of liquid into my stomach.  I really didn't want to eat so that worked out perfectly."  No.  In fact, I have had patients pull their NG tubes out right in front of me.  I have had elderly patients tell me they would rather die eating than be stuck with a tube feed.  Seriously.  Tube feeds should be reserved for very sick patients.  For patients who for whatever reason, whether it be a complication from cancer, an intestinal disorder, or an intensive care patient, cannot eat food by mouth.  It is ridiculous that people are seeking out feeding tubes as a method of weight loss.  This is an inappropriate use of nutrition resources and very poor medical practice.  Tube feeding falls in the category of nutrition support, and weight loss is not under the nutrition support umbrella.

I know this is a wordy post, and I know most people probably aren't giving this a second thought.  As a Registered Dietitian I am passionately against this diet.  Thank you for giving me a place where I could share my thoughts and concerns.



*Information for this diet was found here and here.

new direction.

This afternoon Jack and I went for a play date.  It's so fun to have a baby friend to play with... and a mama friend for me.  My heart has been longing for this for awhile.  We were in a part of Knoxville that I honestly have never been to before.  I definitely live in a West-Knoxville bubble-- a problem and a rant for another post -- but I forget that places like Powell, Karns, Halls, etc. are all a part of Knoxville.  Anyway, I had to use my GPS to get home.  As I pulled out of her neighborhood I turned on my GPS and hit "GO HOME".  I mindlessly followed the GPS, as I so many times have.  After awhile the road looked somewhat familiar.  When I realized where I was, I was so confused about where I had been and how I had gotten there.  I looked over at my GPS to see where it was taking me and why I went this way that seemed to have been wrong.  I knew there was a faster, better way to where I wanted to go.  I glanced down and saw this:

Notice the arrival time-- 10:27 PM.  PM, I thought???  This was at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.  I just kept thinking that something was wrong with my GPS, and then it hit me- the GPS was fine, it was me that was the problem.  You see, my "GO HOME" was still programmed for our Maryland home.  We're going in a new direction now.  We have shifted, picked up, and have been living this somewhat unsettled life for two months now.  I say unsettled because there are so many unknowns.  When will our house sell?  When will we move out of our parents' house?  Where will we live?  Will I get a job?  Now, today, and this year of 2012, our family is moving in a new direction.  We have a new calling to listen to.  I will re-program my mind and my GPS, and we will plant our family here--- whatever that brings for us in 2012.


[And yes, I do realize that this is probably one of the dumbest things I've done.]

2011.

As I think about 2011, I think of all that we have seen- sickness, restored health!, birth & new life, joy, good health, answers to prayers, and more love and a much more alive heart than I’ve ever known.  So thankful for the year that has passed.  Looking forward to year of 2012 and all that God has in store for us this year.  May we seek Him, know Him, and dance daily in His grace.


And because I can't help it, here's a video of one of Jack's first times crawling forward.  He's a man on the move now!  And please don't mind my voice in the background.

days to go.

I don't think I've ever felt such a mix of emotions as I have during this moving process.  It's a great move for us, so we're really excited.  We are so looking forward to this new chapter of our lives as we relocate back to Tennessee.  There is so much anticipation for this and we are eager for it, certainly.  But we are sad.  We will miss our friends here.  We are in "get it done" mode, so we haven't had much time at all to be in the present and process all that is happening, but we want to be.  So if we seem like we are brushing off goodbyes or giving half-hearted sentiments, please know that we are not, we are just overwhelmed.  We have been so touched by the outpouring of love for our family.  We are incredibly thankful for people who have come over to help pack, clean, watch Jack, take garbage to the dump, and even take poison from our house to the hazardous materials dump (that's a story within itself).  We are thankful for friends bringing dinner, snacks, cookies, and sweet youth who make us Christmas cookies because she knows we love them and won't be here at Christmas time.  We are thankful for neighbors who do anything to help us.  We are thankful for those who choose to drive well out of their way to come help us, to be here day after day doing whatever task they can to help.  We could never say enough thanks!  We couldn't properly express how much it truly means!  We are so grateful, and we will so miss our Maryland friends.

2 years ago today.

We bought our first house!  Two years ago today!  It's hard to believe that two years have gone by here in this house.  A lot has happened here... too much for me to recap on this late night post [and yes, 9:30 is considered a late night post for me].

Two years ago today, I left work early, picked up Tommy and we drove up to Columbia nervous about what was to come.  We sat and met the people we'd been wondering so much about.  They weren't  happy that we made them take 6 sheds off the property.  We also learned they had already taken 6 off before they put the house on the market.  Oh, if only that was the worse thing we had learned about this house.

Two years later and we have done a lot.  Not nearly what our eyes had thought as we walked through this place before we made an offer.  We were very naive; we had no idea that our eyes were way bigger than our abilities, even bigger than our time, and mostly bigger than our bank account.  But bit by bit we have made this house our home and continue to do so now.  We tweak, we change, we paint, we update, we conceal.  We work hard on this place, and it really has been a labor of love.  It kept us busy when we were in a new area, far away from family and friends.  It kept us warm when it snowed- in fact when there was not one, but three blizzards our first winter here.  It's been a good house.  It's an old house- it has "character" as the people in the real estate business would say.  "It's definitely not a cookie cutter house" people say when they come over.  It's our house.  But most importantly, no matter what our house is like-- it is our home.  It's where Tommy and I have learned to work together.  It's where we brought Eli home and where he layed on the same blanket in the same spot in the same room for days.  It's where we chased Lady around the house time and time again trying to get whatever the latest item was she snuck off with.  It's where our family sleeps when they come to visit us, and while it's not perfect, we're so happy to have them here.  It's where we brought our baby boy home when he was discharged from the NICU and realized we had no idea what to do next.  It's where we have watched our sweet man sleep each and every night since and where we watch him play and grow all day.  It's where we have begun our marriage, our family and our dreams, and it's where we continue to grow. Thankful for a house that has become a home that means so much more for our family. 

 Our house as we saw it 2 years ago  

 Our sweet Eli  

 Destruction - not an uncommon thing to find with these two pups  

Good morning kisses  

Losing control of the bed  

 
The usual spot for these two

Bringing home baby boy for the first time!  

 Jack kisses  

 Jack and Daddy in his room 

Our little family  

brownie wednesday.

Do you ever have those days where you just want/need to eat? I have been hungry all day! I'm thankful for my excuse of nursing my baby that sucks the energy out of me causing me to need to replete frequently; however, today has been above and beyond that normal. (Wow, that was a ridiculous sentence!)

Anyway, I totally believe in emotional eating. I've heard people say it doesn't exist and that we should be able to mind-over-matter anything and not take that bite. I do believe that there are ways to beat the perpetual emotional eating, don't get me wrong, but I also believe that some days you've just gotta EAT!




So I deem today BROWNIE WEDNESDAY. Why? Because I can. Because I left my baby today to go work for 8 hours. Because I didn't get a lunch break. Because I commuted in this Washington DC traffic which shouldn't even be called traffic but should have a more harsh name. Because I love chocolate. And because I don't have any ice cream in my house.



ps - please don't take this as whining. i love my baby, my job, my life but some days, a girls just gotta have some chocolate.

things i've learned.

I've learned so much in the last 7 weeks. By the way, my baby is 7 weeks old today. Wow! Here are just a few of my many lessons learned:


- My baby LOVES country music! Loves it! We discovered this by accident and now listen to it much!

- My diapering skills have improved much.

- Pee goes really really far!

- Car rides can be a very good thing.

- Never underestimate the power of a nice bath. Little man LOVES bath time with his Dad!

- We have an AWESOME baby!

- My puppies make me laugh every day and they love this little boy.

- Netflix is great!

- And finally, leaving baby boy for my first full day of work was really hard but made so much easier by leaving him with an awesome person!

reflecting.

I still don't think I've had the opportunity to process everything that happened with Jack. It was such a whirlwind and we had to handle it and didn't have much time to think about anything. I have had a few {very few} quiet moments to think and am still just amazed at what this little guy has been through. I'm so amazed at God's goodness. Amazed that He healed Jack. Thankful to have Jack. I love him or something :)

I finally uploaded all of our pictures from the hospital. It took me awhile to get them all compiled from the camera, Tommy's phone, and my phone. Here are some from Jack's adventure in the NICU.

Jack's first NICU bed. After he was off of the oxygen hood they moved him out of this bed and into a crib!

The crib--- quite the upgrade!

He was monitored. This is where we sat for hours and hours a day just holding our boy. We spent a lot of time watching that monitor- watching his respiratory rate and his oxygen saturation. One of the greatest feelings was watching the respiratory rate drop day after day from the 120s down to the 30-60 range over the course of a few days.

Changing diapers is really hard with all of these leads! He hated these and they came off a lot because he's a squirmy guy. The line in his umbilical cord was great so he didn't have to get stuck for every blood draw or a new IV. It was hard for me to look at him like this at first but now I love looking back and seeing that he doesn't need ANY of this stuff now!

His bruised little hands from getting sticks before he got his umbilical lines.

His adorable little feet that were attached to more of those monitors he hated.

Once his respiratory rate came down he was allowed to eat. This was his first bottle given to him by Dad. This guy loves to eat!

We spent a lot of time...

playing...

smiling...

laying on the boppy...

and rocking our sweet, sweet little man.

We spent a lot of time in these chairs. That rocker has some Morgan wear and tear on it now!

The day we got to go home. First time in the car seat getting ready for his big trip!

I couldn't be more thankful for the care Jack got. We had the best nurses, nurse practitioners, and neonatalogists. We met some sweet people with their precious little babies living in the NICU, and I learned a lot from my new NICU mom friend {a very sweet lady who always stopped me to check on Jack and see how I was doing even though it was difficult for her because of a language barrier}.


I love spending my days with this sweet baby who is such a blessing to us.

we're home!

Jack is home! We are all home together and it is amazing! Thank you so much to everyone and your kind words and sweet thoughts about us. I know there's been a lack of updates on here- thanks for still checking in! We've been a little busy the past few days--- awesome busy!

We brought Jack home on Thursday night. He had to stay an extra day in the NICU; he didn't have any more alarms after the last ones I wrote about but the standard NICU policy is that babies not have alarms for 3-5 days before going home so they were not okay with Jack going home after just 24 hours without alarms. He stayed another day and another night and first thing Thursday morning the nurse practitioner took his leads off and declared him free. Wednesday was so hard after we went there to pick up our baby boy and were told he had to stay. It was a small reminder of how I felt the week before on the day he was born when they took him down to the NICU. It wasn't nearly as bad but it was definitely disappointing. However, we understood and appreciate their thoroughness in making sure he was doing ok. Just easier to say that now than it was on Wednesday. I was so nervous to go in to Nursery A - Jack's room that he shared with 11 other babies - on Thursday morning. I was nervous to see if we would walk in and he would still have all of his leads attached and hear that he would have to stay for more testing, or if we would walk in and see him happy and ready to come home. It was better than I could have imagined! The nurse practitioner was taking his leads off as we walked up to his crib, and she looked up at us and said "He's getting out of here! I'm discharging him today!" It was an awesome moment. Ten hours later we were home with our little guy, and we could not be more thankful.

We cannot believe how much we love Jack. It's amazing. He is so fun and is changing every day. We are really enjoying this time as a family and appreciate so much Jack being home. We are so thankful to have him home and so thankful for his health. He had a great check up with the pediatrician on Friday and passed his first home health nursing visit on Saturday with flying colors. We are just blown away by the progress. Thank you to you all for speaking kind words, praying for us and with us, and showing us love and support. We could never tell you how much it means to us.